mom life, Motherhood, SAHM, Stay at home mom, WAHM, work at home mom

The Urgent Stuff

Do you ever feel like you are constantly putting out urgent fires and never get a chance to just “get ahead” in life? If you don’t, congratulations! You are special! Stop reading and move right along. No need to read this open letter to us peasants down here, struggling to just do the basics in life, like breathe and go to the bathroom. We have to stick together, and honestly, the “got it together” people kinda bring the vibe down a bit. #wedon’tneedthatkindofnegativityinourlives

Oh hi, you’re still reading?…then you must be like me, the epitome of the chicken without a head, running around, expending a lot of energy, moving a lot, sweating, but not really getting anything done. Some days I feel like I’m living the book of Ecclesiastes…”all is vanity and grasping for the wind.” (Eccl. 1:14a) #nooffenseEcclesiastes

I wish I could say that I’m writing this to share a big insight I had on how to avoid that! #thatwouldbegreat #Iwouldbeamillionare

But alas, I do not have answers. #shakesfistatlaundrypile

What I do have, are words to encourage you and hopefully help you not feel so bad about yourself in this area. If you’re like me, maybe you are raising tiny humans that demand a lot of attention and a lot of energy from you. These tiny humans are YOUR responsibility, given to you by the Almighty God, entrusted to you for safe-keeping on this earth. #nopressure Some days I look at my tiny humans and wonder how have I kept them alive so long? How have I not lost one of them? (Ok, we technically HAVE lost one of our children in a souvenir shop in Florida for about 7 million hours – jk, 7 minutes – and it was the scariest time of my life.) #stephgetsseriousforaminute

But back to the fact that I still have all three children, living, breathing, under my roof….that’s pretty amazing right? I feel like a trophy should be handed out to all parents when their child reaches 5 years old since the years leading up to that, they are basically just finding ways to almost die or get kidnapped and you are constantly saving their lives. #sostressful

So we have established that the tiny humans suck all the energy and life out of you (in a *good* way of course…#Ilovemychildren)…but there’s more. Of course, there is always more for the discombobulated humans like myself.

I am a SAHM so I have a different set of challenges than someone else who works outside the home. Side note question: what is the appropriate way to ask a woman whether she has a job or is a SAHM? I mean, I AM a SAHM and I have caught myself asking “So do you work or do you *just* stay at home with your kids?” I shudder at the thought of how that sounds. As if staying home isn’t working or is something that the word “just” should go in front of. Forgive me all moms who I have ever said that to!! I’m working on it! I feel your pain. I hate to think that someone looks at me as *just* a SAHM. I never get to clock out of this job. It’s all hours of all the days for all of eternity…or, um, until I die. #letsnotgetcarriedaway #somebodyisoverlydramatic

I love to make lists. When I make lists, I feel the sense of urgency slowly leaving my body and leaving me slightly more relaxed about everything I have toshould be, could be doing to keep things running smoothly in my home. The problem arises when I start writing this to do list and it becomes a full-length novel. There are just not enough hours in a day to do everything we are supposed to be doing, am I right? On any given day, I have a sink full of dishes, dry, crusted food on the counters, crumbs and sundry other pieces of trash on the floor, a bar covered in junk, 5 loads worth of laundry to wash, dry and put away, and bathrooms that need deep cleaning. (does anyone really deep clean their bathrooms every week? If so, go away. You are a unicorn and unicorns are fake and belong on rainbows in the sky. Fly away unicorn! FLY AWAY!!) How does any one human being do all this over and over again, day after day, and not lose their sanity? I don’t understand! Help me! #helpmehelpyouhelpme 

I think the part about being a SAHM that stresses me out the most is the feeling that I *just* cleaned that, or *just* swept up those crumbs, or *just* washed those same exact dishes. Some days it feels like I’m living Groundhog Day (Thanks to my friend Gloria for that analogy that fit perfectly). And those daily tasks seem to take up all my time in between giving my kids their 100th snack for the day, giving them drinks because they might die in 5 seconds, answering their litany of important questions: When is daddy coming home?
What day is it?
How many days until my birthday?
Why does my bottom hurt when I poop?
Can I draw on this?
If I stick this up my nose will it hurt or get stuck?
Who farted?
Can I give my cookie to Sadie? (the dog)
Do mommies decide how many babies they want?
How does the baby get in your belly?
Can I have a baby now?
Why are you crying in the closet with the light off? Are you eating chips in there?

There is just no way to stay on task when my kids are home with me. And so I’m constantly moving from one urgent task to another, trying to just get the most basic things done during the day. It is not urgent that my children put a fresh set of clean clothes on each day, nor is it important that they wear actual pajamas to bed. #whodoesthatanymore? What IS important is that my kids ate food (don’t worry yourself about whether it was healthy food, they ate OK?), they are alive, the house is still standing, and we all have clean underwear just in case (like 30 pairs for each person in our home).

One day I will get caught up with laundry. (I actually folded and put away about 5 loads total today.) #notbragging  #genuinelyshocked  #ifIdonttellanyonediditreallyhappen?One day I will have time to organize my pantry. One day my socks and underwear will be neatly put into a drawer. One day, my bathroom will get cleaned more than once a month. #noteventhatrightnow One day a unicorn will show up and spread unicorn glitter everywhere and things will start floating in the air and going to the places they are supposed to. #aplaceforeverythingandeverythinginitsplace #thatsabunchofbull 

Until “one day” rolls around. I will continue surviving in the tyranny of the urgent. There must be a better way, I’m just too brain-fried to figure it out right now. And I have some food burning on the stove, and my toddler is drawing on her feet with the permanent marker again while the older two are looking at me with the sad eyes of a child who hasn’t had a real meal in months. I better go take care of all that right now. Or maybe I’ll just go to my closet and cry um, pray. #helpmeJesus 

Keepin’ it real, #andabusingthehashtagsagain

Steph